Heart Cry: The Courage to Confess

This post is part of the June Synchroblog on Ordinary Courage – may you be encouraged.

Elizabeth Chapin ~ ChapinChick

The secret she was keeping welled up into tears. “Mom, I have something I need to tell you.” Most of the time she didn’t have the opportunity to keep secrets – somehow, she always got caught. Yet, this one thing – this one really important thing – she managed to keep hidden for months. But she couldn’t keep it hidden any longer. Her confession came just days after I got offered a contract to write a book. In the midst of her confession, the truth came out – she was afraid that what she had done would ruin my reputation as an author and kill my book deal. My heart broke, and the tears that had been welling up in her eyes came pouring out of mine.

One thing I wanted to be certain of as a parent was to distinguish between poor choices, bad behavior and “being bad.” So…

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June 19, 2013 at 9:08 pm

When I was young…

We were poor. We often shared a room on cold winter nights. We couldn’t afford to heat the whole house and there was only one room where we wouldn’t freeze to death in our Woodstock shack. One cold winter night my mom and step-dad had sex while they thought I was sleeping. I was in 6th grade.

How about you? How did you first learn about sex?

April 12, 2013 at 11:57 pm

How Did We Get to Steubenville?:Talking to Boys about Girls

Elizabeth Chapin ~ ChapinChick

ohiostate-logoThis is the first post in a series on Talking to Boys about Girls.

I’ve never been to Steubenville. But, I am a Buckeye. I was born at The Ohio State University Hospital and I graduated from The Ohio State University. I imagine Steubenville is a lot like many other Midwest towns. Along with boasting the production of frequent college football champions, the Midwest is one region that boasts higher church attendance than most regions of the country. I wonder if the Steubenville boys who were convicted of rape in March 2013 went to church? If they did, would they have heard anything at church that would have helped them make different choices? Most of us are aware of the media oversexualization of girls (if not, I recommend So Sexy So Soon). What messages are boys getting in Sunday School and Youth Group to counter the media messages? Recently…

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April 9, 2013 at 3:51 am 1 comment

Join the dialogue and share your stories of cross-gender friendships!

Elizabeth Chapin ~ ChapinChick

Chemistry, Crushes and the Complexity of Attraction
by Elizabeth Chapin

This post is part of the February Synchroblog, “Cross Gender Friendships.” I have listed the links to all the contributing blogs at the end of this post.

We never had the talk. You know, the “defining the relationship” talk. I knew we would remain just friends, after all, Johnny had a girlfriend back home and he wasn’t the “I can cheat on my girlfriend while at college and get away with it” type. But, by the middle of our second semester, I knew Johnny loved me too. Even though he loved me, he had chosen to be and stay romantically involved with his girlfriend at home. So, our love had limits. And limits are a good thing. We are creatures, not God, so we will always have limits no matter how hard we try to live as if we are…

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February 13, 2013 at 8:20 pm 1 comment

Elizabeth Chapin ~ ChapinChick

Rachel Held Evans, author of the New York Times Bestseller, A Year of Biblical Womanhood, offered a collection of blog posts today on virginity and asks whether Christians idolize virginity. The ensuing comments (nearly 300 as of the writing of this blog) expose the complexity of this issue as well as the shame, pain, and other unintended consequences of messages that equate purity with virginity.

Our tendency to equate purity to virginity as simply a physical reality is reminiscent of the Pharisees and their focus on the external purity rituals while neglecting the heart. Jesus corrects this attitude in many ways including his teaching on lust (Matthew 5:28) – that a lustful attitude is a form of adultery, which was mostly considered a physical act, as well as a violation of property rights. But, the opposite error of imagining purity as only a state of mind is also…

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January 30, 2013 at 6:13 am 1 comment

The Modesty Cover-Up

When we picked her up from Sunday School, the teacher pulled me aside as my husband signed her out of class. She handed her craft to her dad, excited to show off her creative work. My husband struggled to interpret the meaning of the craft, so she explained it all to him while I chatted with her teacher. The teacher was concerned about her attire. That warm summer Sunday she was wearing an ankle-length, light blue spaghetti-strap dress that came with a lacey cap-sleeved short jacket, which she had decided not to wear. Her teacher told me he thought her bare shoulders were a problem and that she should cover up in the future. She was four years old.

Modesty is a hot topic in some circles.

Jonalyn Fincher blogged about Modesty and has spurred some interesting conversation. She says covering up is not the answer and “our bodies are not shameful triggers to lust.”

Another modesty post: Modesty Rules for Church Leaders. I am especially fascinated by the responses…

Here’s a roundup of blogs and articles about modesty by my friend Dan Brennan: Conversation on Beauty, Modesty, and Lust.

Have you ever been told to cover-up?

At what age did you start to worry about modesty?

How do your ideas about modesty differ from your parents?

December 3, 2012 at 5:55 am 1 comment

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